Missus and T.T. were shopping today in Wal-Mart and T.T. was again the victim of an assault by his wife. I must point out that T.T. wasn't raised to lay his hand on a woman, so he was at a disadvantage here.
Missus needed some new underwear before leaving on their trip to Nebraska. The two were in the lingerie aisle. Missus prefers the Hanes brand. T.T. saw some bras that appealed to him and called them to the attention of Missus. She came over and looked at them, shook her head and said, "Pretty balloons." T.T. agreed "Yep." and reached out to give the padded bras a squeeze.
Missus looked at him like he was some sort of pervert and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Nothing."
"That's why I'm ashamed to go anywhere with you!" she hissed.
"What did I do?" T.T. asked.
"Oh, I don't know." Missus explained. "Just a fat middle-aged man in the women's lingerie department feeling up the merchandise."
"What are you getting so upset about?" T.T. insisted. "I was just agreeing with you."
"In what way?" Missus inquired.
"Well, you said those were pretty balloons and I thought they were pretty and just felt them to see what made them so pert and full."
"Uh-huh." said Missus.
"And I just wanted to see if they were as firm as your breasts are." As T.T. said this, he reached out and gave Missus' breasts a squeeze, just as the clerk walked over and asked if she could help them.
Missus blushed, but T.T. grinned, shook his head and responded, "No, I can take care of these myself."
It was then that Missus opened up a can of whoop-ass on T.T. They were escorted from the store and asked never to return.
It turned out that Missus didn't say 'pretty balloons". She said "Fruit of the Loom".
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