Carolina Blue

Over the weekend, T.T. and I took a drive over to enemy country - Chapel Hill. We parked off Franklin Street and took a stroll around Morehead Planetarium. Many humans were out walking their dogs. I received lots of looks from both humans and canines as I was the only dog not on a leash. A few people made the mistake of pointing that out to Bubba and he cordially invited them to go to the place of eternal damnation.


There were as many races of humans as there were breeds of dogs! I saw an Asian couple with a blond baby. When asked the baby's name, the mother said, "Sum Ting Wong". We passed an Irish couple with a beautiful sheep dog who said they were on vacation. I guess they were visiting a different bar. There was a guy standing outside an Italian restaurant handing out menus. One arm was shorter than the other. I suppose he had a speech impediment.

Baby blue flags and pennants were everywhere. Carolina has just won the NCAA basketball championship. A couple of Mexicans, perhaps giving up on soccer, were trying their hand at basketball. They were surrounded by forty or fifty other Hispanics trying to figure out the sport and yelling encouragement. From what I could tell, the two were playing Juan on Juan basketball, though it looked more like a shot put competition to me.

There were lots of co-eds out jogging, some with their dogs. There was one really smart blond that stood out. She was a retreiver. I managed to get her number when the girls stopped to help T.T. who passed out trying to keep up with them.

Once he recovered we sat down at a sidewalk cafe for something cold to drink. T.T. commented that there were a lot of Yankees in Chapel Hill. I asked him what Yankee meant, and he said, "Same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone." Two Yankees were talking about the dissolution of their marital relationships. One asked the other, "Why do divorces cost so much?" and the other replied, "Because they're worth it."

Everywhere we went we saw kids with spiked and dyed hair, body piercings, and tattoos. Many wore leather and chains; with dark eye shadow and lipstick. Even their fingernails were painted black. There were girls holding hands with girls, and guys holding hands with guys. T.T. called them 'Fairies'. You could tell which ones were Yankee fairies and which were Southern: The Yankee fairies would say, "Once upon a time..." and the Southern fairies would say, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t!"

A Chapel Hill policeman approached T.T. and told him that I had to be on a leash. Something about a zoning ordinance. T.T. lied and told the officer that one of the Goths had taken it when we weren't looking. The policeman said in that case, T.T. would have to carry me. Now I'm a grown dog and I don't need to be toted around like some sissy Pomeranian. I bit the guy, and we took off for the truck.

By this time, T.T. and I had grown tired of Chapel Hill with their snooty airs. "The heck with this place. Next Saturday, let's go to Asheboro and see what's happening at the zoo. I hear that in addition to a description of the animals on the front of the cage, they're now including recipes." As long as their ain't no dogs in those cages, I'm game. I think I'll call that smart blond and see if she wants to go have an exotic meal together.